Hello Bachelor Bracket fans! Kim from Head Over Feels to recap my favorite soundbites from our weekly installment of "Juan Pablo's Excellent Adventure" . First of all, how PERFECT is that gif from The Hobbit considering we spent the week in Middle Earth...erm...New Zealand? New Zealand has been a place I've always wanted to visit, so I watched the episode through the lens of my jealousy (and three glasses of wine, but that's neither here nor there).
This week Andi FINALLY got her Juan-on-Juan, we had some really bad geyser puns, and we made a literal visit to Hobbiton that had a surprising end...read on for the quotes!
"I really feel like things might just erupt in New Zealand" - Clare
I really do fear Clare may go full on Hulk Smash before this thing is all said and done
"It was cold, it was hot, and I can't wait to see what tonight brings." - Andi
I'll have what she's having. (Also this is very much ANOTHER episode Andi's mom can't watch)
"Everything around us is just wet." - Andi
Obvious joke is obvious, but that's why "That's What She Said" never gets old.
"It's so ironic to be standing next to a geyser cause our chemistry is bursting through as well." - Andi
They HAD to be coaching her to say that, RIGHT?
"It kind of reminds me of Ohio except we don't have hills." - Chelsie on New Zealand
I don't understand the comparison. And does Ohio not have hills anywhere??
Okay, this is not a quote but allow this Lord of The Rings fan to squee: GOING TO HOBBITON!!
I'm so jealous I can't stand it you guys.
"This process is just a little inorganic for me." - Sharleen
I again really wonder what went through Sharleen's mind when she applied to be on this show.
"I want to open up to Juan in ways I have never opened up before." - Cassandra
Twice in one post and I'm not even sorry.
"MY PRECIOUS!" - Cassandra on the rose
Someone had to make the Gollum reference, so made props to Cassandra for doing so.
JUAN DUMPING CASSANDRA ON HER BIRTHDAY.
I mean I know he said he would let both Cassandra and Renee know as soon as he wasn't feeling it, but let me again say: IT WAS HER BIRTHDAY.
"Did we do anything inappropriate?" - Clare
Does groping in the ocean count?
"I don't want you to cry because of me." - Juan Pablo
Oh, dear. You're in for a world of more pain then, Juan.
"That's real life. That wasn't on the date card." - Clare
I mean, if real life is having a second date in New Zealand, then sure, Clare. This is real life.
"I'm hypnotized by her eyes." - Juan Pablo on Renee
Let's be honest. He's hypnotized by ALL the ladies.
"I'm wearing pink underwear by the way." - Juan Pablo
That is NOT a good pick-up line, Juan.
"If I were to stick around, that means Kat would go home. And that's a good feeling." - Chelsie
Tell us how you really feel, Chels.
"It's a marathon, not a sprint right? And I just didn't get up to speed." - Kat
Ironic that their Juan-on-Juan date was running a 5K...
Eliminated: Cassandra, Kat
I'm not overly surprised by these eliminations as Juan Pablo made out with every other lady except these two (and Chelsie...so gurl, you better hope for some smooches in Miami!).