Hello, Bachelor Bracket fans! Kim from Head Over Feels here to once again take you through my favorite soundbites from this week's episode of The Bachelor. While this episode lacked the sheer drama of last week's, given that there was no drunken meltdown on a group date, there were still plenty of moments that had me chuckling into my glass of Malbec. Let's get right to it, shall we?
"Out of 10, I am level 15 ready to get out of this house." - Nikki
I believe they don't even allow these women to have books in the house. Which would make me crazy because what else are you supposed to do when you lay by the pool all day? So I feel ya, Nikki.
"I don't want chicken." - Camila
I don't know about you guys, but I just really enjoyed seeing this moment of little Camila being a bit bratty.
"Dating as a single mom is really difficult, so I figured might as well give this a shot." - Renee
Let me make this clear: I love Renee. I love how she has become den mother to all the women, perhaps even at the expense of time with Juan Pablo. But I can't POSSIBLY see how going on The Bachelor is a better dating option for you than match.com.
"I haven't had a first date since I was 18." - Cassandra
The only reason I included this is the fact that I lost count of how many times Cassandra said she hadn't been on a date in three years. Gurl....say it once and then move on, m'kay?
"Worst case scenario, I fall and break a leg. Or my nose." - Kelly
To finish the quote from one of my favorite movies of all time..."Well...there goes your social life." Also, Kelly remains delightful.
"I blocked the ball with various body parts. Including my face." - Sharleen
OH MY NOSE!
It's like this post is writing itself!
"That kitchen was a hot kitchen." - Andi
I don't know, it seemed like a pretty gross and unsanitary place to make out to me.
"I don't know if having another daughter is what he wants." - Elise on Chelsie
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I have been WAITING for the trash talk to START. And I love how Elise is judging someone a mere three years younger than her.
"It both surprises me and bothers me that I care as much as I do." - Sharleen
Sharleen's candor is incredibly refreshing to me. I really wonder how she wound up on this show...and I think she thinks the same thing.
"I have never had a first kiss hanging upside down from a bridge. That's about as epic as a first kiss can get." - Chelsie
Peter Parker would definitely approve.
"I'm gonna see them with no make-up and hair not done. It's real life." - Juan Pablo
Kelly's reaction to seeing Juan Pablo in the kitchen was priceless. I know we've seen them spend next to no time together, but I REALLY need her to stick around for her hilarity and running commentary.
"Does that mean I have to put clothes on??" - Lucy
First of all, I freaking love that Lucy literally made a Chandler Bing noise after saying that. And I now have images that the ONLY time Lucy puts clothes on is when Juan Pablo comes to the house and I'm surprised the Producers haven't played that up more. Perhaps they didn't have room in the "blurry body parts" budget?
"Juan Pablo's head was in her crotch for 20 minutes. I think you should be a little more considerate that there are 14 other girls and you look like a whore" - Kelly on Kat
Accurate. Kat reeked of desperation to me, especially since we heard her say maybe two words the whole episode. We just saw her throwing herself at him.
"This is not really how I would be in the real world." - Sharleen
Again, I think this woman is too classy for this joint.
"Being out here right now is my worst nightmare." - Christie
I would feel bad for her, but I feel like this is the most screen time she's gotten so far, so I don't care all that much.
Eliminated: Lucy, Christie
The Bachelorette house will be all the less naked and "free spirited" without Lucy. And so long, Christie, we barely knew thee.
That's it for this week Bachelor fans! Tune in on Sunday to see Sean and Catherine get married (though with the way they are promoting things, I am VERY surprised they aren't following them into the bedroom for their wedding night) and I'll be back with you Monday to watch Juan Pablo and the ladies head to South Korea!